Kinks and Fetishes

You’ve probably heard the terms “kink” and “fetish” thrown about a lot. They’re even often used interchangeably. Let me in on a secret: Kink and Fetish are not the same.

Imagine two circles — one within the other. The “Kink” circle is a broader spectrum of sexual attractions. It encompasses the “Fetish” circle, where the objects of sexual arousal are inanimate objects, a specific body part, or behavior.

Kinks are:

• Sexual preferences outside of the mainstream vanillas and missionaries
• Include things you are biased to or which you like but do not necessarily need to be aroused or reach orgasm
• Subjective — you may not think a dildo in itself is kinky, but your lover might

Meanwhile, fetishes are:

• Like kinks, only more extreme
• Your arousal subject must be present to be aroused or reach orgasm
• Degrees of need vary — a person can imagine their fetish, and that can be enough. Others will have to engage in it one way or another.

There are many overlaps between kinks and fetishes. But the bottom line is: Kinks are sexual things outside of the average sexual landscape that you like to do. Fetishes, on the other hand, are sexual things outside of the average sexual landscape that you need to do.

Kinks and Fetishes in the 21st Century

In the swanky 21st century, we’ve come a long way from the hush-hush days of kinks and fetishes. The topic went from being taboo to being, well, not quite tea-table conversation material, but certainly a more accepted and understood aspect of human sexuality. Social media has played a part in this, giving people platforms to share, explore, and discuss their kinks and fetishes without fear of judgment.

Here are some benefits of discovering your kinks and fetishes:

• Discovering and accepting your kinks and fetishes leads to better self-understanding, fostering a sense of self-acceptance.
• By exploring and sharing your kinks with your partner, you can deepen your relationship. It’s like letting them in on your secret recipe for the perfect arousal cocktail.
• When you incorporate your kinks and fetishes into your sex life, it’s like adding a dash of paprika to your favorite dish. Suddenly, everyday sex becomes an exotic adventure.

While the 21st century is more accepting of kinks and fetishes, it’s crucial to always ensure consent and respect in your explorations. Kink responsibly!

Discover Your Kink and Fetish

Here’s a comprehensive list of the kinks and fetishes that may pique your interest:

A for

Actirasty

There are many benefits we get from the sun’s rays. It boosts our serotonin production, makes us more alert, and many more. In the land of kinks and fetishes, actirasty is when the sun’s rays arouse you.

Age Play

This is a play — NOT at all similar to pedophiles or cougars. Age play is a safe play between two consenting adults who pretend to be another age. A great example is when you (or your lover) call each other “daddy” or “baby” in bed.

Anilingus

If your partner likes going down on you (like so much, think licking, kissing, or other type of oral stimulation), then he might have a thing for anuses. (Or just yours, tbh.)

B for

Bastinado

This one started with an ancient torture, but it’s now snugly within the nestles of kinks and fetishes. It’s canning your or your lover’s soles.

Bondage

Ah, the famous “B” of the BDSM sub. Ropes, cuffs, chains — this one’s where you derive sexual pleasure through being restrained or restraining your partner.

Breeding

Where are our ABO enthusiasts at? If you’re familiar with the Omegaverse, then chances are, you already have a master’s degree in breeding kink. This one requires a lot of cum (natural or homemade — yes, that’s a thing) and a whole lot of talk about pregnancy.

This kink has a special place in the gay community as it opens up a universe that’s impossible in reality. MPreg, to be specific. Since pregnancy is a long (at least 18 years) commitment, many couples find this kink stimulating and intimate.

C for

Consensual Non-consent

Everything you need to know is in the name, yeah? It’s actually an umbrella term that includes any dynamic where the partners agree that “no” actually means “yes.” Considering the level of emotional involvement and potential triggers this play includes, it’s critical that the participants discuss the scene in-depth and be knowledgeable on what to do for emergencies. Reiterate your boundaries and safe words, and practice aftercare.

Cosplay

Ever had a discussion with wanting you or your partner to dress up as a character you like? Don’t be shy. We all wanted to get it on with Roronoa Zoro or Captain America.

Cuckolding

A vivid portrayal of this fetish is depicted in Natalie Dormer’s movie, The Scandalous Lady W.

This one isn’t limited to hetero-couples and involves voyeurism, where one partner gets turned on by seeing their partner having sex with another. It’s kind of like a threesome, except you’re just sitting back and watching.

D for

Dominance or D/S

This one’s rather broad and can range from exclusively being a top to ordering a partner around in a Master-Servant relationship. Just note that the keyword here is one partner giving up their power to the other— all within consent, safety, and set limits, of course.

Dacryphilia or Dacrylangia

Know someone who gets turned on by others’ sobbing and crying? Don’t get this confused with someone just being a bully or a jerk, though! It’s sonetimes considered under sadomasochism. Others also refute that it’s a reaction from men who were forced never to show any signs of vulnerability.

E for

Edging

Edging is dancing to the near end, about to come, but not — not yet, at least. The promise of a satisfying orgasm pushes this play. The mere thought of finally coming piles up over the other as you or your partner is denied climax.

Electrostimulation

Literally using electricity (specifically electric shock) for sexual stimulation. It’s a subset of sensation play and is not just mere vibrations. Participants use electric shocks, so utmost caution is critical.

Exhibitionism

This one’s about showing off your body and your sexual behaviors. Note, though, that the one you’re showing off to is okay with it. Exhibitionism can be as exposed as having coitus at play parties or wearing very revealing fashion.

F for

Face-Sitting

This one’s self-explanatory. It’s getting aroused by sitting on or being seated on by your partner. Face-sitting overlaps with other kinks and fetishes, such as erotic asphyxiation and anilingus.

Food Fetish

Mukbang (or eating broadcast) channels thrive because they have an audience. Aside from incorporating food into sexual play (like melted chocolate on nips or whipped cream on the belly button), some also find the eating sounds sexually stimulating.

Foot Fetish

There’s a reason why people earn big bucks from selling their feet pics. Those who are partial to feet are aroused by naked feet, feet in footwear (like lace socks or high heels), or those with say, decorations — tatts, nail color, etc.

G for

Gagging

Some love blowjobs and pushing their partners’ faces into their crotch. Because of the nature of this play, gagging falls under D/S. There are also aspects of humiliation kink and ahegao.

Glasses Fetish

Are you attracted to men who wear glasses? Whether all your previous and current lovers are glass-bearing hunks or you have a glasses collection, it’s undeniable that you like glasses too much. If you notice that you’re more heated when your partner wears glasses during sex, then you may have a glasses fetish.

H for

Head Games or Mind Games Fetish

Are you a sapiosexual? Then maybe you also get sexual gratification from head games. This can include elaborate mind games that outwit your partner, and doing so makes you feel superior or dominant and vice versa.

Humiliation Kink

It’s about deriving sexual pleasure from feeling embarrassed, degraded, or humiliated — something that is typically paired with power play. It can be objectification, verbal, or public humiliation.

I for

Impact Play

This is about gaining pleasure from striking or being struck by your partner. It uses various implements like paddles, whips, etc.

Infantilism or Adult Baby Fetish

Adult Babies, or “ABs,” get their jollies by roleplaying as infants. Yes, you read that right: diapers, baby talk, the whole nine yards. It’s a form of age play.

J for

Jerk Off Instructions

This one’s a guided kink. Here, you’re told how to pleasure yourself. Whether it’s a sultry voice in your ear, a steamy video, or a detailed written directive, the turn-on here is the explicit instructions.

K for

Katoptronophilia

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the sexiest of them all? If you’ve got a thing for mirrors and watching yourself in raunchy situations, you might be a katoptronophile. It highlights the voyeuristic thrill of catching your own reflection mid-action.

Knife Play

Knife play is a form of edge play (literally!) that involves using knives to invoke excitement. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and safety precautions are paramount.

L for

Latex Fetish

Love the way latex clings to the body, shining under the lights, giving off a sci-fi-y vibe? Then you might have a latex fetish. It’s more than just a costume choice for some!

Lingerie

Good old lingerie — a classic for a reason! It emphasizes the tease, the anticipation, and the confidence boost that comes with rocking some killer underwear.

M for

Macrophilia

This fetish involves an attraction to larger-than-human-sized partners, like Resident Evil’s towering Alcina Dimitrescu. It’s not just about size but the power dynamics and domination scenarios that come with it.

Melolagnia

Ever been turned on by a song? Then welcome to the club, you melolagniac! This fetish centers around one’s arousal in music, whether it’s the voice, beat, or that killer guitar solo.

N for

Neculophilia

Ever found yourself getting hot and bothered by the sight of steam, fog, or dry ice? You might be a neculophile. This unique fetish is still being researched, but it seems to be linked to past experiences and the atmospheric touch of these elements (think hazy music videos, etc.)

Nylons

Whether it’s the visual aesthetic of someone wearing them or the tactile sensation of putting them on, nylons have a certain pleasingness that drives some people wild.

O for

Objectophilia

This is for those who find themselves romantically or sexually attracted to inanimate objects. Yes, we’re talking about having the hots for anything from a statue to a car. You can even marry a dakimakura (Japanese pillow with printed anime characters).

Odaxelagnia

If you’ve ever found yourself turned on by a playful nip or a love bite, you might be an odaxelagniac. This kink is all about the pleasure derived from being bitten or biting – just remember, no Twilight fantasies here; consent is key!

P for

Pet Play

Furry fandom, anyone? Pet play is a type of roleplay where humans take on the behaviors or appearances of animals. Whether you’re into cats, dogs, or a dragon, pet play is all about embracing the animal within.

Praise Kink

“Good boy,” “You’re doing so well,” “You’ were great,” — do you love hearing these? Then you might have a praise kink. This fetish involves getting aroused by compliments and words of affirmation — after all, who doesn’t like a little ego stroking in the bedroom?

Q for

Quirofilia or Hand Fetish

Just like foot fetish, hands have their own special audience, too. Usual hand fetish involves long fingers (that can reach the deepest parts of their partner) with clean, trim nails that are ready for action anytime, anywhere.

R for

Resistance Play

Here, one partner plays “hard to get,” whenever the other is signaling sexual advances. The rejection adds allure to the chase. Still, this is just roleplay — you can’t experiment and do it on your own. Both you and your partner must agree first.

Robot Fetish or Robotism

If the thought of AI or cyborgs revs your engine, you likely have a Robot Fetish. Those who have this fetish can now enjoy fully-formed sex dolls. Those who have a partner can enjoy roleplaying where the partner pretends to be a robot.

S for

Sadism

In BDSM, pain is only given with consent and pleasure. Sadism is arousal from dishing out “intense sensations” to others.

Sensory Deprivation

By depriving one sense, the others take center stage, increasing your sensitivity and arousal. It’s a bit like turning the volume down on the world so you can hear your body better.

Somnophilia

Somnophilia, aka Sleeping Beauty Syndrome, is when one is turned on by someone asleep or unconscious. This demands a prior negotiation and consent from the person you’re engaging with.

T for

Temperature Play

Temperature Play is a kink that heats things up… or cools them down. By introducing different temperature stimuli, you add a whole new layer of sensations to your playtime.

Tentacles

There are many tentacle videos online, and who can blame these creators when tentacles offer lots to the imagination? Eight long appendages, great sucking movements — you get the idea.

Torture Play

Torture Play is not about the bad kind of torture. It’s mastering the right blend between pain and pleasure. The torture is pushing you to a bit extreme, not to hurt but to elevate the pleasure.

U for

Urophilia or Urolagnia

This one’s about getting turned on by urine, especially in public. Surely, this is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it exists.

Ursusagalmatophilia

Fancy a cuddle? Ursusagalmatophilia is a sexual interest in teddy bears. Yes, Teddy can be more than just a childhood comforter!

V for

Vampirism

Bite marks and blood play appeal to you? You might be into Vampirism — just remember, this isn’t Twilight. Consent and safety always come first.

Voyeurism

If you get hot under the collar from observing others undress or engage in sexual behaviors, you’re probably a Voyeur. Remember, peeping must be done with consent — unless you want to end up in jail.

W for

Wax Play

Wax Play is a part of Temperature Play that involves the right type of candles. Don’t do this with just any candle, though, unless you want to suffer second-degree burns.

Worship Play

In Worship Play, one partner worships the other as if they’re a god. It’s like a master-slave dynamic, but the person being worshipped is revered and not motivated by “punishments.”

X for

Xenophily

Xenophily or Xenophilia is an attraction to foreign people, their manner, or culture. It could be linked to past emotional events, like being saved by a foreigner during an accident.

Y for

Yaoi Kink

If you’re turned on by explicit Boy’s Love Japanese mangas, you’re likely into the Yaoi Kink. It’s more than just a genre; it’s a whole subculture in the world of fetishes.

Z for

Zentai

Zentai is all about full-body tights — a form of sexual bondage, perfect for those who are shy or want to remain anonymous.

Zoophilia

Zoophilia is about the emotional link between humans and animals. This isn’t bestiality — it’s more about the emotional connection than the physical one.