There are endless things to talk about in the wonderful world of BDSM. After all, it has something for everyone.
In this article, I’ll take you to an often muddled subgenre of BDSM: Consensual non-consent or CNC Kink.
You might wonder why people get hooked on CNC, but that’s only because you haven’t experienced the thrill of ravishment and forceful play with a trusting partner.
To help you get started, we first need to ready your toolkit.
So here are my top 7 must-have items for a mind-blowing consensual non-consent scene.
Get ready to explore the dark side of pleasure and equip your toy box properly, because this isn’t your vanilla sex tip listicle.
What Is Consensual Non-Consent or CNC Kink?
In practicing CNC Kink, partners consent to act as if consent has been removed, creating an illusion of non-consent.
This illusion allows pairs to explore intense power dynamics in a safe, controlled way.
Why CNC Is Appealing?
CNC knocks on that deep primal fantasy of dominance and submission.
The scenarios constructed give participants a rush of power and arousal.
At the same time, giving up control feels intensely erotic.
Moreover, CNC is an effective way to build trust and elevate intimacy.
To do these scenes, you’ll need absolute faith in your partner and your ability to read each other.
Important CNC Considerations
CNC is not for beginners. I already said it, but I’ll say it again: BEGINNERS, THIS ONE’S NOT FOR YOU!
Those cheap CNC porn might make you think it’s doable.
But if you’re a part of the BDSM community, you’ll know the difference and heed my advice.
It’s better if you read this article instead: Sexual Bondage for Beginners
The only acceptable reason why you’re still reading even if you’re a newbie is because you want to learn.
You need education on safety, consent, and risk awareness.
Always start slow, know your limits, and never push past them.
Negotiating Scenes in CNC Kink
Negotiating a CNC scene is crucial for ensuring everyone’s safety, comfort, and consent.
As the “top” in these situations, I always make discussing boundaries and limits a top priority.
Before any play happens, I like to sit down with my partner/s and talk through exactly what we all want out of the experience.
- What acts are okay and not okay?
- What kind of language and roleplay do we want to include?
- Are there any triggers we need to be aware of?
Taking the time to answer these questions allows us all to be on the same page and feel comfortable pushing boundaries in a consensual way.
Safe-words are a Must
In CNC kink, safe-words are absolutely necessary — even more so than in other BDSM kinks.
A tip: I always establish both a “slow down” and “stop” safeword with my partners.
That way if anyone becomes uncomfortable at any point, we have an easy way to communicate that without breaking character.
Top CNC Roleplay Ideas
When it comes to CNC roleplaying, the possibilities are endless.
Ask any gay man and their favorite will be one of the following popular RPs:
Boss and Employee
This is a classic power dynamic that lends itself well to CNC Kink scenes.
Maybe I’m the demanding boss who requires some extra “overtime” from my assistant to earn that promotion.
Or perhaps I’m the eager new hire willing to do whatever it takes to climb the corporate ladder.
There’s so much fun tension and taboo to play with here.
Alien Abduction
For sci-fi fans, alien abduction scenes can be really hot.
Pretending to be the helpless human subject, at the mercy of my alien captors’ strange experiments and probes,
is both terrifying and exciting. The element of the unknown — both from the extraterrestrial beings and what might do also lets participants be as creative as they want.
Props like a medical examination table, weird tools, and eerie lighting help set the mood.
Burglar Surprise
Have you ever thought of having a stranger break into your home and take advantage of you?
No worries, this is a common fantasy. As the unsuspecting resident, you’re vulnerable.
Then, you’re violated and forced to submit to the burglar’s desires.
The forbidden nature of these acts releases a flood of endorphins.
Always establish a safe word beforehand and never do anything without enthusiastic consent.
There are a few other CNC scenes I enjoy, like pretend fights that turn forceful, hitchhiker pickups gone wrong and hostage situations.
The key is finding what turns you on, setting clear boundaries, and choosing a partner you fully trust.
When done right, consensual non-consent can be an incredibly liberating experience.
But it does require responsibility, maturity, and care.
Speaking of doing things right, preparing a CNC Kink play kit is one of the first boxes you need to tick off.
Equipping Your CNC Toy Box: 7 Essential Items for Your CNC BDSM
I’ve learned through trial and error what items are must-haves for a satisfying scene.
Here are my top 7 essentials for any CNC kink toy box:
1. Bounding Tools
For obvious reasons, restraints like duct tape, bondage tape, or rope are necessities.
I prefer tape because it’s quick to apply and remove, sticks well but doesn’t leave marks.
Rope requires more skill but offers more flexibility in positioning.
Have a pair of safety shears on hand in case of emergency.
2. Sensory Deprivation Gear
Blindfolds, gags, and headphones are great for heightening sensations by depriving other senses.
A blindfold helps your bottom feel more vulnerable and disoriented.
Gags prevent protesting or screaming. Headphones with white noise enhance the feeling of isolation.
3. Impact Toys
Paddles, whips, and floggers provide stimulation through pain.
I like to use a variety of toys at different intensity levels depending on my sub’s pain tolerance and the mood of the scene.
Always start light and build up gradually.
4. Lube
If you know there’ll be any kind of penetration, then always have lubrication at the ready.
Spit may be hot when done at the moment, but your sub will feel its aftereffects after.
I’ll let you in on a secret: Coconut oil is a game changer for me.
It’s moisturizing and safe for use with condoms.
Oil-based lubes can damage latex so avoid those.
Of course, do a patch test first before dumping a whole bottle of coconut oil on your privates.
5. Emergency or Aftercare Kits
First-aid kits must always be readily available — no questions asked.
Have snacks, water, blankets, antiseptic creams, and bandages on hand for proper aftercare.
Cuddling, talking through the experience, and tending to any (accidental) injuries help the bottom come down from subspace and feel cared for.
6. Toys, Props, and Other Accessories
To fully immerse in the fantasy, use props to create an authentic setting.
Things like cages, cells, or other confinement spaces, vibrating dildos/plugs, and roleplay outfits help set the mood.
If you happen to have coinciding kinks, such as ogling hard muscles, there’s nothing wrong with wearing muscle suits.
7. Limits and Negotiation Sheet
Negotiation sheets should be there as a reminder to all of the parties on how the scene will play out. Sure,
it might get some participants in the zone, but getting sidetracked for a bit is miles better than forgetting their partner’s limits.
Before starting the CNC play, go over limits, desires, and concerns and establish ways to pause or end the scene if needed.
Safety and consent should always be the top priorities even if the scene portrays them as the opposite.
Aftercare Considerations Following CNC Play
After an intense CNC scene, aftercare is essential. For me, aftercare following CNC looks a bit different than usual.
The submissive partner may experience sub-drop as the adrenaline wears off, leaving them feeling vulnerable or anxious.
As the dominant partner, I also need to be aware of dom-drop — the “crash” that can follow a very fulfilling and satisfying scene.
Check In on Your Partner
The first thing I do is physically check on my partner.
I make sure any restraints or gags have been removed, provide water and snacks if needed, and wrap them in a soft blanket.
Emotionally, I ask how they’re feeling and what they need from me. Reassurance, praise, and tenderness are usually the most important.
Take Time to Decompress
CNC scenes require a lot of mental and physical energy from both parties. We take time to rest, talk through what we each enjoyed and didn’t enjoy, and reconnect. I avoid intense stimulation or making big decisions for a while after a scene. My partner and I simply relax and enjoy each other’s presence.
Address Any Guilt or Shame
Feelings of guilt, shame, or regret following CNC play are common, especially for new players.
I reassured my partner that what we did was safe, sane, and consensual.
We discussed how the scene made us feel and set a safeword to end the play immediately if needed in the future.
Communicating openly about the experience helps alleviate negative feelings and brings us closer together.
Plan the Next Scene Carefully
When we’re ready to play again, I take extra time planning our next CNC scene.
We discuss limits, desires, and safe words to ensure maximum enjoyment and minimum negative impact.
Starting slowly and building up intensity over multiple scenes is the safest approach.
Aftercare should continue to be a top priority before, during, and after each scene.
Conclusion
I‘m sure we can all agree that CNC Kink requires care, communication, and consent.
While it may seem counterintuitive, establishing trust and setting boundaries is key.
With the proper precautions, CNC play can be an exciting way for partners to explore intense sensations and power dynamics.
Approach with an open mind, stay safe, and have fun!
Now that you’re armed with tips even veterans may not share, you can try CNC yourself or gift a curated toolkit to spice up a friend’s play.
Just promise you’ll use your new knowledge wisely!
