Are you thinking of being a Pleasure Dom?
See this complete guide for everything
you need to know about this BDSM term.
What It Means To Be a Dom
Before talking more in-depth about Pleasure Dom
or Dommes, we must first establish
what it means to be a dominant partner.
Doms, an abbreviation for “dominant,” often refers to the
assertive partner in a sexual relationship.
In the gay community, “dom” refers to the one who tops
or assumes the man’s role during intercourse.
However, contrary to popular belief,
doms are not just there to control the sub.
They are there to guide, direct, protect
and sometimes instruct their partner.
They are responsible for how the consented play goes.
They are obligated to ensure their bedroom shenanigans
are accordant, pleasurable, and, most importantly, safe.
Additionally, doms are not limited to definite features.
Don’t fall into the notion that whoever has the larger build
in the relationship, is senior in age, or has more experience,
is automatically the Dom.
What roles each will assume is a discourse
the partners need to speak about and agree to.
Moreover, it’s crucial to note that not all doms are sadists.
You don’t have to hurt or pleasure your sub with pain to be called a dom.
There are many subtypes of doms,
and one of them is the Pleasure Dom.
What Is a Pleasure Dom?
A relatively new term emerged in the BDSM community.
As “Pleasure Dom.” What is this master’s only goal?
It’s to give his lover the most number of orgasms.
Sounds like a dream, right?
However, it’s not easy to take on the label.
You give your partner as many orgasms as possible,
including consent, control, and education.
It can be dangerous to keep giving your partner orgasm.
After all, there are limits, especially when doing BDSM play.
Too much pleasure can make the sub so sensitive
that expected happiness unknowingly turns to pain.
Ultimately, what a Pleasure Dom does
depends on the details the participants talk about.
Whatever the kink, scene, ideas, or preferences,
those involved in the course should have honest conversations
relaying their desires and concerns.
Other related terms are:
Orgasm Control
Orgasm control is a broad topic with many subcategories.
This term refers to the dominant partner controlling their lover’s orgasms
through edging, postponing, denial, or a crisscross combination.
Each should be studied extensively
before applying these techniques to the other person.
No matter what tactic you use to manage and deal with the big O,
their orgasm will be the most intense when the partner finally comes.
To deliver this extraordinary high is the Pleasure Dom’s goal.
The Service Top or Service Dom
A close relative term of Pleasure Dom is the Service Top.
This master finds gratification in servicing the other party
and ensuring they feel good.
Instead of controlling or dominating their partner,
a Service Top prefers to do things for their receiver,
doing whatever they ask for, according to their every whim.
A Sevice Top’s intentions can come from a place of affection and care.
Their target is to see their sub calling the shots and giving them sexual bliss.
To imagine what a Service Top does,
think of the direct opposite of the Power Bottom.
Sensual or Gentle Dom
BDSM is typically portrayed as a risque play
where the dom whips, shackles, and degrades their companions.
But that is not always the case.
There’s also a subgenre where the members enjoy sensual or loving domination.
This arrangement usually involves showering the receiver
with praises and rewards in the form of flirty/dirty talk and sexual acts.
Additionally, this program is best for when the bottoms
want to explore and push their boundaries.
It’s the top’s job to keep the passive participant in the proper
space and make them feel comfortable to let go,
be wild, or be vulnerable with the assurance
that their master will be there to support them.
How To Be a Pleasure Dom?
After confirming how your sexual adventure will play out,
it’s now time to choose the accessories to use.
Below are some recommendations on how to be a Pleasure Dom:
Do Research
There is no specific handbook on how to be a Pleasure Dom.
But what’s more important is that the participants agree on terms,
safe words, and other relevant details of how you act in the bedroom.
To guide you on how to be an influential and accomplished top,
know everything you can from forums, articles,
and in-real-life talks with peers in the same circle.
Here’s an important tip:
- Read from many sources.
- Don’t just get what you see from one browser and take it as the only truth.
- Compile answers and keep an open mind.
But most importantly, relay your research to the other party and decide together.
Learn the Language
Picking the right words to say is essential
to create and keep the bedroom’s mood.
A Pleasure Dom shouldn’t only focus on giving
the other participant orgasms through physical touches.
It should be the whole package: the sex should be physically,
mentally, verbally, and psychologically arousing.
Your language is also essential to bring your lover to subspace,
where they can feel utmost euphoria.
Tops should know how to be in charge when this happens.
When the receiver is in the subspace, they can be incoherent, akin to drunk.
Meanwhile, the top’s responsible for being alert to the sub’s needs.
Harness Control
To be a top doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want.
Although that’s what’s usual in mainstream media advertising,
BDSM is not just following a dominant’s wants.
It’s still a two-way street.
As a Pleasure Dom, even if it’s your goal
to make your partner cum many times,
you still need to establish control.
Not only because it makes the dominant feel powerful
but also because it protects the partners
and keeps them within the play agreements for safety.
Pick Your Props
Props make sex more enjoyable.
Get your fill of the proper support for your kink,
and try some of these:
Ticklers
Ticklers play a vital role in pleasure play,
providing diverse sensations and
adding a kinky twist to control-based dynamics.
Using a feather tickler on your partner’s skin can
create heightened arousal and explore the realms of sensory pleasure.
Blindfold
Blindfolding in BDSM intensifies sensations,
heightens anticipation, and strengthens the dom-sub bond.
By removing sight, other senses are heightened,
increasing pleasure and creating an atmosphere
of trust and vulnerability.
Blindfolds enhance the immersive experience
and allow submissives to let go and fully embrace pleasure.
Handcuffs
Handcuffs are essential for dominants in BDSM.
They limit arm and hand movement while maintaining some freedom.
Various positions can be explored, enhancing vulnerability and control.
Handcuffs deepen trust and intensify the experience.
Communication and consent are crucial for safety.
Edibles
Eatable props are perfect for the slow build of anticipation,
which can be as pleasurable as penetration
for example, spread jam over the body.
Doms can kiss and lick at the subs’ sensitive areas
for a great mix of expectation and contentment.
MASKS
You can dehumanize yourself by wearing a mask
to make everything about your sub.
This is so they can focus more on the excitement
and push themselves to get lost in the pleasure you offer.
Mirrors
Play with surfaces that offer reflection.
This way, both partners will be more hyperaware
of their movements and facial reactions,
no matter the pose they’re doing it in.
Muscle Suits
Muscle suits are excellent for various sexual scenarios
roleplays, photography, and others.
There are many things you can explore with this comfortable silicone wear.
Muscle suits give you the sculpted body you’ve always wanted.
Plus, they look and feel like muscles,
so you don’t need to overthink their adequacy.
An easy play is when you get your sub to go blindfolded.
Let them enjoy a new sensation, get lost in the moment,
and enhance their sex life with new opportunities muscle suits pose.
Tips for Exploring a Dom/Sub Relationship
Below is a list of how to know more about the world of doms and subs:
Watch Videos
Visual learning is vital so you can hone your skills
and pick up on your partner’s microexpressions
and any sign of uneasiness.
Sometimes, your partner isn’t sure what something should feel like
because it’s their first time doing it.
The best way to know if what you’re feeling is normal
and within the scope of the play, is to watch others do it the right way.
If you don’t want the rated videos to affect your algorithm or feed,
create a separate account and search
for relevant keywords to your relationship dynamics.
Subscribe to reputable channels that go in-depth into the topic.
Sometimes, these channels will share a review of toys they recommend too.
Talk and Listen
It’s critical to discuss any kink you’re interested in.
Unless you’ve planned it, you can’t just surprise your partner
with a sudden shift in dynamics or settings.
Some will feel obligated to reciprocate your
enthusiasm even if uncomfortable with it.
Relationships are complicated, so the partners must communicate
through talking and listening.
If you plan to begin an entirely new fetish,
it’s necessary to chat about it with the other person involved
and be open to their comments and suggestions.
Heard and be heard.
Continue Learning
Accept that you’ll always need to search for things you’re unfamiliar with.
This is especially the case when you feel like you did something wrong
in your previous play with your lover.
There’s always something to look forward to.
Keep your strong connection, and never stop learning together.
