I once was a skeptic when it came to degrading kink. What’s the hype all about anyway? Why are they overselling something that looks like abuse from an outsider’s point of view? Then I get to try it for myself. Oh boy. This degrading kink may seem like exploitation in the untrained eyes. But harness its potential and you’re in for a wild, wild ride.This post is for the curious and the newbies seeking advice. It’s all about the correct practice of embracing the degrading kink in real life. Read on and discover why it’s an enduring intimate activity you should try at least once in your lifetime!
What Is Degrading Kink?
Degrading kink results in making the sub feel dirty or corrupt. It’s an attack tailored to your sub’s characteristics and wants. It’s done lovingly, as an indication of passion and willingness to explore the couple’s sexual tendencies and strengthen their bond.
What makes it stand out among other kinks? It’s ironic nature. Kinks target ultimate pleasure. Meanwhile, degradation makes them feel insignificant. That’s hardly pleasurable, isn’t it?
Well, yes. Unless feeling worthless turns you on.
A side note: For this article, “sub” or “bottom” refers to the one receiving the degradation.
“Dom” or “top” is the one spearheading the play. Meaning, a gay man doing the
penetration but is also the subject of the degrading kink is the “sub.”
Degrading Kink vs. Humiliation Kink
It may be confusing, but degradation is not the same as humiliation.
While degrading kink assaults an individual’s worth or value,
humiliation rouses self-consciousness. It intends to make the target feel uneasy, uncomfortable, or awkward.
Another primary difference is that degradation is usually between two close participants.
There’s an established connection between them.
In comparison, humiliation kink involves other people who may or may not know about the play.
It’s shaming or embarrassing your partner publicly.
What Does It Mean to Degrade Sexually?
To degrade sexually means to incorporate degrading elements into your sexual plays. (Degrading titles, actions, and others.)
A degrading kink frequently co-occurs with other kinks. The combination is an effort to intensify the experience.
Usual kinks paired with degradation are bondage, exhibitionism, and cuckolding.
Easy Degrading Kink Steps
Degrading kink is easy enough that anyone, even complete beginners can try it.
What many may misconstrue though is it’s a kink you can do whenever, wherever,
and with whoever. Let me tell you now that it isn’t.
Step 1: Start with Consent
You can’t just jump into degrading kink at the spur of the moment or decide to do it by yourself.
While this may be hot on screen and other fantasy scenarios,
every sexual encounter should be governed by consent and respect.
Step 2: Before Anything Else… Talk
Never overlook the necessity of conversations before attempting new kinks.
Before adding degrading kink into your usual sexual routine, consider every factor that may impact your dynamic.
Here’s a simple way to do it:
List the things you want to say or do during the play. Urge your partner to do the same.- Compare notes. Go through each item. Cross out any matching ones — this means both of you are game to try them out.
- Discuss items with no matches in more detail.
- Set up both of your soft and hard limits.
- Ask any questions and share any doubts with each other.
- Settle your differences and resolve your next steps.
List the things you want to say or do during the play. Urge your partner to do the same.
Step 3: Never Forget Aftercare
When the play’s over, always see that you’re both in good condition. In degradation play, doms should be alert to their subs’ needs.
As a dom, ask your sub:
- How are you feeling? (Satisfied, Triggered, So-so)
- Can I get you anything? (Water, blanker, shower)
- Was it too much? (Any limits crossed? Did I make you feel safe? How can I make it better for you?)
You should also do regular check-ins. It’s where both Dom and Sub review their play, point out any good and bad,
and adjust to improve their next encounter.
There are instances when immediate aftercare is not done as it’s included in the play.
For instance, the dom, after orgasm, goes right to sleep and ignores the sub.
This contributes to the feeling of “worthlessness” crucial in degradation kink.
If you agree on this scene, ensure to do aftercare the morning after.
What Are Degrading Things to Say?
Be as creative as you can when looking for degrading things to say. Search online, watch porn,
or be the bottom to a top who’s experienced in degrading kink. Below are some examples of acceptable lines to degrade someone.
This compilation is from diverse sources such as the BDSM community and others.
When outside or in public:
- Limiting the sub’s speech (“You can’t speak with anyone while we’re out.”)
- Making the sub wear or not wear something (“Wear that pair of tight pants with no briefs.”)
- Imposing a rule on the sub when in public (“Keep your head down, I don’t want others to see me with you.)
- Random outbursts (“You’re useless!”)
When in the bedroom:
- “You’re just my personal fuck hole.” / “You’re only good for fucking.”
- “You don’t deserve my cock/ass.”
- “You’re such a slut — how many other guys pounded you like I do?”
- “The other guys should see what you look like when I’m fucking you. You’ll like that, don’t you?”
- “Your cock is so small; how can you please me with that?”
- “You’re such a crybaby.”
- “Walking fleshlights don’t talk.”
- “You’re so dumb — such a dumb cum dumpster/dildo.”
What Are Degrading Actions to Do?
Degrading kinks come in various ways. It can manifest in both verbal and physical (consented) assaults.
- Slapping
- Spitting on the sub’s face (spit, water)
- Making the sub eat their cum (or swallow the dom’s spit)
- Sticking fingers/feet in the sub’s mouth or face
- Gagging sub with socks
- Asking the sub to lick the top’s shoe or feet
SlappingIt’s critical to ask your partner the specifics of how they want to be degraded first.
As a dom, remind yourself what your sub loves or hates hearing or doing.
Triggering words, phrases, and gestures are different for every individual.
Be sure to avoid anything that may invoke a negative reaction from your bottom.
5 Types of Sex Degrading Kink
There are many types of degrading kink you can practice in the bedroom. Some favorites are:
1. Objectification
Objectification is treating your partner as an object — a mere vessel of pleasure, nothing more.
Some of the most common objects are pillows and footrests. Dehumanizing terms or titles work too.
Think of being called a “dildo,” “cocksleeve,” or “hole.” Admit it, you’ve imagined being called one of these things before.
Plus, there are various gay porn to attest to this.
Doms ask “What are you?” and the subs reply “A hole. Just a hole.”
2. Forced Exposure
Removing your partner’s privacy constantly reminds him you’re watching.
Your sub will be overly conscious, hot, and bothered. Add some dirty talk.
“Don’t play coy. I know you like being watched, you pervert.”
Rile your sub up and make him squirm with just your eyes and voice.
Another example is taking the sub’s nudes or videotaping his illicit acts with you and showing it to your (willing) friends.
Note that this should only happen with the sub’s consent.
3. Roleplaying
Roleplaying is one of the easiest and safest ways to practice the degrading kink.
Choose relationships with hefty power imbalances. Such relationships include a boss with a doomed employee,
a prisoner with a captor, or an immoral professor with a desperate student, or a parent of a student.
For a more immersive roleplay, use appropriate clothing or uniforms.
Suitable costumes and accessories like masks and harnesses will give you an edge too.
4. Begging
Making your sub desperate is a satisfying feat. Knowing he’s so desperate to have you to the point of begging
is an instant confidence booster. On the flip side, your sub will feel devalued (as what degradation is for) and turned on.
Body or muscle worship can fall under this category as well. You can make your sub beg to be fucked or plead to touch you.
Don’t have that Adonis set of abs? No worries. Hypnotize your partner by wearing muscle suits and other body enhancements like penis sleeves.
5. Removing Authority
Seizing your sub’s ability to decide for himself is an ultimate power move.
It reminds him of his worthlessness and forces him to depend on you.
As a dom, you can remove your bottom’s authority over their body by controlling what he wears or how he moves.
You can even demand him to ask for your permission to do anything like cum, speak, or go to the bathroom.
Some gay men enjoy being experimented on, so it’s not an issue if their doms give them surprise orders.
If you choose to apply this dynamic, remind the sub he can turn down the order or stop the play at any moment.
Why Do Some Men Like Degrading Kink?
Why do gay men like being degraded? The same question was posted in r/askgaybros, a Reddit community of gay men.
The query is “Why does being degraded turn you on?” There are many interesting answers.
Below is a list of the most typical answers.
- Consensual abuse is a therapeutic channel for those who experienced real abuse.
- Degradation is a way to acknowledge insecurities. It helps to slowly work on dealing with these doubts.
- Degradation is an effective method to “let go” of masculine pretexts society demands from men.
- Submissive men enjoy the display of power their doms have on them.
Wrap Up
Degrading kink for gay men is done in a loving way to strengthen the bond between partners.
Like other unconventional sexual exploration, it highlights consent, respect, and ongoing communication.
There are many degrading things you can say and do — all tailored to your intended effect on your sex life.
There’s no one reason why men enjoy degrading kink. But common reasons include therapeutic release,
challenging societal norms, and pushing the envelope on how power dynamics play out.
Degrading kink, when practiced consensually and respectfully, is an exciting and intimate activity for gay men.
Try something new. Don’t be afraid to be kinkier than yesterday.
Boost your confidence in knowing you’re capable of so much more!
