“Guy on guy” is a versatile phrase used to describe various things in the LGBTQIA+ community. Because of the confusion surrounding this phrase, many may misunderstand its intended meaning and create a negative connotation. This blog post will discuss the different meanings of guy on guy and how it relates to two men flirting or developing feelings for each other.
Compared to previous decades, it’s now easier for gays to meet or flirt with their fellow men. For older, gay and bisexual men, dating back then was more complicated and intimidating as most are less accepting of the gay community. Additionally, unlike what many may believe, “gaydars” don’t always lead to correct assumptions.
Today there are different dating apps or websites available with a large dating pool. Because of these advances in technology, people get to know each other better, feel safer, and avoid awkward flirting or sharing stories about their lives and sexuality. However, these new methods are only applicable if the user is confident in who they are and knows how to flirt.
Understanding Guy on Guy Flirting
Urban Dictionary has two definitions for “guy on guy:”
- It is an act of two or more men doing various sexual acts to please each other. It includes sharing a long and passionate kiss, caressing each other’s bodies, etc.
- Another meaning refers to gay men who are in longer relationships that often engage in more intense acts in the bedroom, such as anal sex.
“Guy on guy” can also indicate a genre of gay porn that men and women like watching. Porn Hub data shows that more women are searching for this category. In fact, 69% of female users watch two male characters having sex. Women like gay porn because it’s more versatile and exciting than heterosexual sex, with more opportunities to see a man’s orgasmic face and body, explore sexual desires, and feed fantasies.
On the other hand, “guy on guy” is also explained as an act of flirting with another guy. It includes lots of staring, smiling, standing or talking close to each other, gentle touching, and more. These actions seem easy, but they can be strange, confusing, and difficult for someone who’s still unsure about their sexuality.
The Kinsey scale can assist you in identifying your sexuality.
What Is the Kinsey Scale?
In 1948, great doctors Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy, and Clyde Martin developed the Kinsey scale to measure one’s sexual and romantic orientation. In their initial research based on their subject’s sexual histories, they discovered that the sexual behavior, thoughts, and feelings toward a person were not consistent. So, instead of using heterosexual (straight), bisexual, and homosexual (gay or lesbian) individuals, the researchers presented eight classifications such as:
0 – Exclusively straight
1 – Predominantly straight and only incidentally homosexual
2 – Predominantly straight but more than incidentally homosexual
3 – Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 – Predominantly gay or lesbian but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 – Predominantly gay or lesbian and only incidentally heterosexual
6 – Exclusively gay or lesbian
X – No socio-sexual contacts or reactions
Although it is widespread and there is an online Kinsey scale test available, its official test does not exist, and you must consider various limitations before using the scale. It includes the scale being inapplicable to all orientations, assuming gender is binary, and reducing all orientations to heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, and people who do not experience sexual and romantic attraction.
With that said, there are possibilities of the Kinsey scale being unable to provide accurate results. Moreover, this test is unnecessary as many advanced tests can be used instead, such as The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid and The Storms Scale.
Bear in mind, however, that any sexual orientation test cannot and should not determine a person’s orientation because a person’s behavior, thoughts, and feelings will always vary.
Does Liking Another Guy Mean You’re Gay?
While the phrase “guy on guy” is more prevalent in the LGBTQIA+ community, straight men can fall in love and be attracted to other men. Moreover, the number of straight men and women in same-sex hookups or dating is higher than in hetero relationships. It’s because attraction is so complex and fluid that no label can describe a person’s complete desire for something or someone.
If you think you have feelings for another man, it’s essential to understand that it doesn’t automatically make you gay. A gay man is someone who identifies as someone who is physically, emotionally, and sexually mainly attracted to other men.
Being attracted to men for no reason is normal and cannot easily change your sexuality. Other than that, you can also be one of the two classifications of a man who has same-sex feelings but is not described as gay.
Also known as “mostly straight.” It means that while you are usually attracted to women, you can also have attraction, feelings, and desires for a man. Ritch C. Savin-Williams describes these people as “straights with a dash of gayness” and says there is more heteroflexible than many assumed.
This is sexuality where you are attracted to both hot men and women, but it is not always equal. People who don’t want to be called gay or lesbian stick with bisexual because either the label doesn’t matter to them or they’re still exploring their sexuality. Bisexuality is not a stop or phase into being homosexual.
Reasons Why Straight Men Develop Feelings for Other Men
Feelings are mainly developed with no reason or barrier, even gender. But while it’s not recommended to use a guy on guy relationship to explore one’s sexuality, few males try and don’t stop their feelings for another male for various reasons.
The common reasons are:
They Are Curious
Due to the prevalence of guy on guy relationships in the world, many people want to know how it differs from opposite-sex relationships — if these men are happy, whether they are safe, and so on. So, suppose you have never had a sexual or serious relationship with a man and are tempted to explore and engage in this type of relationship. In that case, a high level of curiosity may be driving you to do so.
To Experience Sexual Taboos
These days, straight men are becoming more open to watching gay porn or other genres considered taboo, like threesomes or group sex, BDSM, anal sex, etc. These men think a man can give them the pleasure they are looking for, plus it will be safer to explore with them as there are no “accidents.”
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Availability and Unusual Circumstances
The presence of women and men in one place affects the increase of male possession in male relationships. A person’s situation in life often causes same-sex attraction. An example of this is people in prison. In these places, the only way to satisfy lust is to have sex with a fellow inmate who they think is hot. Sometimes, male-on-male sex occurs in a gang, fraternity, or when someone is under the influence.
To Reinforce Masculinity
In the past, a guy in guy intercourse was called bud-sex, whose primary purpose was to strengthen not only their masculinity but also heterosexuality. In one study, bud-sex was also done to help a buddy out, relieve sexual urges and needs, and act on their sexual attraction to a friend. Men in this set-up believe that they are different from homosexuals and that same-sex is compatible with male heterosexuality.
How To Flirt With Another Man
Now that you’re more familiar with the guy on guy, it’s time to know how you can flirt with a man you want to be intimate with. While we’ve prepared a guide, remember that these are just tips where you’ll have to add your own style.
Introduce Your Real Self
If you see a hot guy at a bar or an event, the first thing to do is watch the guy and try to calculate his mood before approaching and then introduce yourself properly. Most people don’t want to meet someone who can’t be who they really are, so avoid pretending or showing off. Do simple and normal things, ask their name, say some flirtatious remarks, and gauge his reaction.
Lead a Flirtatious Conversation
Being able to keep the conversation going is important when flirting, which is why you need to have plenty of topics in your pocket to keep them interested in you. Ask about their hobbies and interests and try to find out if you have anything in common. Remember that you don’t need to find out about the guy’s personal life in this part so that they don’t suspect that you want to do something with their information.
Figure Out if They’re Also Interested
Just by analyzing a man’s body language, you can see if he is interested in you or not. You should know the difference between being friendly and showing motives so that you don’t immediately think that the person likes you too. Don’t tell them your intentions directly but show them. Let the man feel comfortable with you and act in their own phase.
Be Cautious and Leave if They’re Not Into You
When flirting with other men, it’s important to remember that the people you meet don’t always have the same orientation as you and don’t feel comfortable flirting. In order not to offend others, you must know how to identify if they’re interested in you based on their actions and response after you introduce yourself. If you see that they are uncomfortable or don’t want to talk to you, apologize and walk away immediately, so you don’t invade their space.