What key signs should you look out for to know whether you are gay? Do you sometimes look at a hot guy and fantasize about all the dirty things you would do to him under cover of darkness? The 21st century is one of the best for men to explore their sexuality. Unlike in the past, when you could be committed to an asylum, persecuted or killed for daring to have sex or love another man, you can now love who you love with little to no judgment from society.
People are more accepting of homosexuality, and most societies have legalized same-sex marriage, are more open to providing quality sexual health to queer people, and have laws protecting gays from homophobic attacks. As a gay guy, you don’t have to worry about your sexual orientation because the world is a place where homosexuality is gradually becoming a norm. In this article, we will discuss key signs to look out for to know whether you are gay.
Gay guy: Key signs you’re gay
Do you find dissatisfaction in heterosexual relationships? If you have ever wondered whether you would be happier being in a same-sex marriage or relationship, your subconscious may be signalling to you that you are gay. Unfortunately, there is no manual to tell little boys or girls how to figure out they are gay. Gay and bisexual men are sometimes forced through years of self-loathing, mental torture, and guilt for developing sexual attraction or feelings towards other men. If you suspect you are gay and would love to figure out your sexual identity, here are key signs to look out for:
● Zero sexual attraction to biological females
Having zero attraction to women is the biggest clue you can get that you are gay. If the thought of kissing, cuddling, holding hands, or having sex with women doesn’t stimulate sexual excitement, you might be gay. While some gay men know and acknowledge their sexuality from the onset of puberty, some men are late bloomers.
Because of social constructs, most gay men are forced to date women, making it difficult to explore their sexuality. Unfortunately, if you are gay, no amount of sexual contact with women can make you straight. Dating women when you have a sexual attraction towards men will result in a general sense of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and sexual frustration, affecting your physical and mental health.
● You have homophobic tendencies
Sometimes homophobic people act a certain way to hide their true nature. If you are brought up in a society that looks down on gay men, you may develop internalized homophobia to redirect people’s suspicion about your sexual identity. If you tend to single out gay-looking men to verbally or physically abuse them, it might be because you are projecting your insecurities on them. Sometimes in a bid to protect themselves from homo[phobic societies, closeted gay may overcompensate by adopting toxic masculine behaviors that target members of the queer community.
While straight-passing gay men derive homosexual benefits, they are unfortunately forced to date women going against their natural sexual orientation. Whether it’s from internalized homophobia or societal expectation, dating a woman won’t magically make you a straight man. If you are gay, you can’t force a sexual attraction towards a woman, and you will only create a cycle of mental abuse until you accept your sexual identity.
● You check out other men
You may not be straight if you turn around whenever a hot guy passes by or stalk hot men on social media pages. While it’s perfectly normal to admire other men because you want to be like them, looking at them with a sexual interest means you have gay tendencies. If you spend a considerable amount of time checking out other guys’ clothes, admiring their physical features, or obsessing about how they move or speak, you may be gay. Your straight counterparts don’t sit around admiring other men’s shredded muscles, luscious lips, or sharp jawlines.
If you find yourself checking out your friends, strangers on the street, or the male romantic lead on TV, evaluate your motives to know what draws your interest to them. Sometimes you don’t need a homosexual sexual act to confirm your sexual orientation. Evaluating why your eyes and mind keep drifting to men when society has conditioned you to favor women sexually can give you a clue that you are gay.
● You dream about having sex with men
If you dream about sucking dick or having anal sex with men, you are gay. Virtually no heterosexual men sit around dreaming about giving oral sex to their best friends or pounding into their favorite male athletes. Remember that being curious about anal sex with men or sucking a guy’s dick doesn’t make you gay. However, if your mind is consumed with the thought of having sex with gay or bisexual men, then you are gay.
If you constantly dream about having sex with men, don’t panic. Having sexual thoughts about men means you could be gay, bisexual, or non-binary. Find someone you trust to talk about your situation to help you figure out what’s happening. If you have a therapist, book an appointment and seek guidance on navigating your potential queerness. Alternatively, you can find gay people online or near you who can help you figure out your sexuality.
● Sexual arousal from male-male intimacy
Do you get sexual excitement when you witness affection between men? If you get butterflies in your stomach when you see men getting affectionate, consider the possibility that you might be gay. Whether it’s a hug from a male best friend, an affectionate pat from your favorite teacher, or watching a gay kissing scene, witnessing male-male affection can help you figure out your sexuality.
Sometimes gay tendencies can be innocuous and subtle, making it almost impossible to tell that all your interest differs from those of heterosexual men. For instance, you can confuse a deep obsession with a handsome athlete with admiration. The reason you watch reruns of Call Me by Your Name might be because you like Timothée Chalamet’s sharp jawline and not its excellent storyline.
● Attachment to all things gay
Do you know the hottest gay movies, follow LGBTQ+ TV shows, and obsess over gay icons on social and mainstream media? While consuming gay content doesn’t automatically make you gay, your interest in anything gay might signify that you are gay.
What kind of influencers do you follow on social pages, including TikTok and Instagram? Your social media interactions and your YouTube content consumption can give you a clue about your sexual orientation. If you have curated your socials to get top-tier gay content, then you may be closer to accepting your gay identity than you think.
The type of books you read can also give you a clue about what you like in a sexual partner. If your booklist contains gay titles, including A little Life or Giovanni’s Room, you might be gay. Remember that loving classic gay literature doesn’t make you gay, but if that’s all you have in your library, it might be time to do some self-evaluation. The type of porn you like to watch can also tell you whether you have gay inclinations. If you can’t get off with heterosexual or lesbian porn, but gay porn arouses you in seconds, you might be gay.
Being gay is fun, freeing, and, most importantly, fulfilling. The freedom to love whoever your heart desires, regardless of gender, is incomparable. As a gay man, accepting your sexual orientation is the first step towards living life to the fullest and fulfilling your purpose in life. If you are new to the gay lifestyle and need useful tips to navigate the queer world, here are a few tips you can use.
● Practice safe sex
Exploring gender identity and sexual orientation isn’t an excuse for engaging in risky sexual practices. Having unprotected sex puts you at a greater risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV, hepatitis b, and STDs. While advances in HIV treatment have significantly reduced AIDS-related deaths, contracting HIV can affect your quality of life.
● Develop healthy relationships
Like other relationships, gay partnerships can also experience domestic violence. Before committing to a partner, learn their habits and triggers, and ensure they don’t have violent tendencies. Be proactive in avoiding situations where you are a victim or party to mental and physical violence. Take the time to develop healthy relationships with a mature partner that protects your mental and physical well-being.
Stay away from drugs
Substance abuse is the quickest way to mess up your life. The gay lifestyle is fun and wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you should party all year round and try every drug under the sun. Abusing drugs puts you at a higher risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases or becoming a victim of sexual assault.
As a gay man, going through the questioning stage of coming out can be a challenging experience. With so many conflicting accounts of which signs to check to know whether you are gay, having a simple guide to follow can enhance your gay experience.