As a diverse community catering to many interests, whether common or unusual, the world of BDSM offers individuals the opportunity to explore their desires and discover how to turn their fantasies into reality. At the core of this world lies male domination, a practice that requires mastery of both physical and psychological power.
Although the concept of male domination often intimidates many, you’ll realize that it can help you have a more fulfilling experience when you learn to embrace it with the right mindset and attitude.
FetLife is a site that encourages its users to build a social network where they can learn to be assertive and connect to others through private chats and posts, and where they can eventually get invited to play parties to explore their kinks and fetishes.
Does this sound appeal to you? If you’re ready to know more about the art of male domination in the FetLife community, read on!
The Foundations of Male Domination
In FetLife, building a foundation for male domination is essential. It provides many opportunities to work with, especially with BDSM and kinky pleasures. To properly construct your foundation, here are two things you need to work out:
Understanding power dynamics
It’s no secret that men hold an innate power that conveys a strong message to other members of the kink community. But understanding its dynamics in FetLife, such as when to be persuasive and controlling, is essential to effectively communicate and connect with other users or partners towards achieving your sexual interests.
There are three common power dynamics in a relationship or group:
Demand – Withdrawal
This power play is effective when one partner feels his needs are not met, and the other seems to ignore them. The situation can dissolve trust if not settled, so it’s critical to find time to listen to each other and establish a mutual commitment.
Distancer – Pursuer
Distancer/Pursuer dynamics happen when one member is less invested than the other. For example, you met someone in the FetLife community through a private chat or group. You get to talking and eventually decided to date. However, as time drags on, he starts to distance himself and you realize that you’re the one pursuing an intimate connection or suggesting a kinky play.
In this situation, you need to understand why your partner is distancing himself and if any or both of you appreciate the pursuit.
Fear – Shame
When you meet new friends on FetLife, you’ll be closer to each other, and there are times when emotions and insecurities can block your clear communication. To avoid being in this dynamic, you have to build trust and learn to respect space so the both of you can feel safe to share whatever goes through your heads.
Honing your leadership skills
Throughout your FetLife journey, you’ll join new groups, grow your friend list, and attend events in the kinky community. As a male dominant, you must hone your leadership skills, both in bed and in the community, since you’re expected to lead and support your partners and others.
Developing a Dominant Mindset
A sex life that meets your kinks and fetishes is satisfying. But as you engage with diverse users in FetLife, you’ll need to grow your dominant mindset and avoid being stagnant.
Here are two important keynotes to ensure you develop a dominant mindset and strong online presence on FetLife social platform:
Embracing confidence and assertiveness
The best way to develop confidence and assertiveness is to fully know yourself and your capacity as a dominant man. These two traits are not only important in being a successful user on the dating site and satisfying you and your play partner’s sexual desires in the bedroom but also advance your presence in kink communities and local events.
Displaying your confidence and assertiveness shows off your dominant mindset. It’ll be easier to master other dominating roles in the FetLife community when you are straightforward and self-assured.
Cultivating empathy and emotional intelligence
While male domination highlights control and authority, it’s crucial to keep in mind that it still requires consent. So, the sub’s wants and needs should always be respected. With this in mind, it’s important to cultivate empathy and EQ.
Empathy helps you understand other’s feelings while your emotional intelligence is your capacity to manage and recognize your and other’s emotions. These are critical in male domination so you can connect with others on a deeper level, establish trust and create boundaries.
Building an Impressive FetLife Profile
FetLife works like any other dating site, where you must set up a profile and provide legitimate information about yourself. Although it’s totally up to you what details to mention. You must create an impressive FetLife profile to attract other users or groups to add you and possibly be invited to play parties.
Here are two tips to get you started:
Showcasing your dominant side
Mention your dominant fetishes, but refrain from using one to two-word descriptions. Sell yourself by briefly describing how you like to do the fetishes in bed. Think of it as if you are offering a dessert, so you got to tell what’s in so people will want to try. You can also post pictures or videos of yourself flexing your muscles to convince others that you’re oozing dominance and power.
Attracting potential submissives
It may be challenging to attract potential partners on dating sites like FetLife through mere conversations, so invest in building an interesting and catchy profile. Your account profile is an indicator of whether you’re worthy of a message from a kinky submissive user or not.
Adding your status, location, gender, and pronouns is a given, but it’s best if you put something that adds spice, whether a kink or short stories about how you treat your partners. This will help you attract members with the same kinks as you.
Enhancing Your BDSM Skills
After learning about male domination and establishing your FetLife account, you also need to back up your words by enhancing your BDSM skills. This is so by the time you’re invited to play parties and specific bedroom scenes, you’re ready to perform your dominant role.
Learning from experienced dominants
BDSM is not easy to learn and will require more than just theoretical knowledge. Even if you’re an experienced dominant, there is always something new to learn that you can gain from talking with or practicing with other experienced doms from groups or other accounts.
You can seek out role models or mentors that already have an established presence in FetLife. Ask for guidance, feedback, and support to improve your skills.
Attending workshops and classes
The app has features where you’ll get invites for local events or receive group FetLife announcements for group discussions with educational resources. This is excellent for members, especially male dominants as it is an avenue to address concerns and hone their BDSM skills, particularly in doing power exchange with safe and gratifying plays.
Communication and Consent in BDSM
BDSM involves kinks and fetishes with soft to intense sensual plays, including scenes with risks of bruising and bleeding. To minimize these accidents or injuries while satisfying your sexual desires, here are some reminders:
Establishing trust with your submissive
Trust is the foundation of most relationships, even sexual ones. And since you’re dealing with plays that may inflict pain on your submissive, it’s crucial to establish trust with one another. Communicate well and be true to your words.
Negotiating scenes and boundaries
When you meet a user in FetLife with the same kinks as you, schedule a time for a talk to negotiate the scenes you’ll do, especially your soft and hard boundaries. It’s best to put everything in writing that serves as a formal agreement between parties to prevent misunderstandings.
Creating Your Signature Style
Your signature style makes you stand out among the rest. It can be fashion or something fun and unique about the way you interact with others. If you don’t have a sign of your identity yet, it’s fine, there’s plenty of time to decide and create it. While you brainstorm, these ideas might be of help:
Developing a unique aesthetic
Get to know yourself and think of a fashion trend that can best represent your identity. You can ask a few friends, especially those who know your taste, or browse the internet for styles that fit your character.
Once you figure that out, update your FetLife status by posting photos or short videos to introduce your identity with a newly-found unique aesthetic. This way, you’ll have your own brand that will enable users and many groups to recognize your presence.
Choosing BDSM equipment and attire
What’s your favorite fetish? Is there any equipment involved, like bondage, whip, or a toy? If your answer is yes, then you have your signature BDSM equipment. If none yet, assess what kink will most reflect your dominance and masculinity.
After deciding on your equipment, you can level up your game by pairing it with attire to enhance your power during bedroom scenes. It could be a suit or a mask with accessories, just ensure that it fits your body and radiates the energy you want. SMITIZEN offers high-quality silicone muscle suits, masks, and others that are perfect for whatever scene you have in mind.
Mastering your character and signature as a male dominant and a strong presence in FetLife takes time and effort, but will all be worth it. Unlike other sites, FetLife is a social network that gives opportunities for many users to explore their sexualities and desires by offering online interactions with other kink stars.
More than sexual gratification, the app also allows any member to learn and understand their identity and build a support system by attending workshops about BDSM pleasures and safety, along with educational resources at their disposal. If you don’t have an account yet, join FetLife now and experience a new world of greater domination.