What’s your favorite love language in a relationship? Sometimes loving someone is easy, but expressing how you feel can be difficult if you haven’t figured out your love language. While using words is the most common way to tell your loved ones how you feel, it’s not the only way to do it. You can find unique ways to tell your partner that you love him, even when words are not enough. You can use five love languages to express or receive love in a romantic relationship. Whether your partner prefers physical intimacy, touch, spending quality time together, or words of affirmation, you can use his preferred love language to make him loved and appreciated.
What is a love language?
Do you sometimes wonder if your partner loves you even when he constantly tells you he does? You probably have a different way of expressing and receiving love. All people, gay or straight, have a unique love language that makes them feel secure in a relationship. If you are in a relationship, it’s important to learn each other’s love language to ensure no one feels neglected or taken for granted because they are not receiving love in the right way. So, how exactly can you tell what your partner’s love language is?
The easiest way to learn your partner’s love language is to ask them. Have a discussion with your man about how you like to be loved, and learn all the little tricks you can do to make him feel valued. When you are learning about each other’s cutesy stuff like favorite colors, holidays, music, and food, don’t forget to learn the love language that makes your hearts sing. Learning your partner’s love language ensures that you spend time and energy doing the things that make him happy and vice versa, helping you develop healthy, thoughtful, and meaningful relationships.
The 5 love languages: How do they work in a gay relationship
Relationships are fun and easy once you know how to make your partner feel valued and loved. While being in a gay relationship can be challenging because of homophobia, moral and legal persecution, or the fear that stems from existing in conservative societies, there is no excuse for making your partner feel unappreciated. There is no better way to show your partner you care than learning the different ways they receive and give love. The five love languages you can explore in a gay relationship.
· Words, words, and more words of affirmation
Words are some of the most powerful tools you can use to build a relationship. If you like being told you matter, you are loved, or being encouraged, words of affirmation may be one of your love languages. Whether it’s through spoken word, text messages, or letters, this love language focuses on using the power of words to express affection. Phrases like, “I love you, you matter to me, there is no one like you” are simple but can significantly enhance your relationship because they express your innermost desires.
If your partner prefers to receive words of affirmation to feel appreciated, make it your mission to say the things they want to hear to be at peace. Tell your man that you love him before you leave for work or school, send a flirty or complementary text in the middle of the day to remind them you are thinking about them, and don’t forget to mention that you love them. If your boyfriend has an interview, promotion, or has achieved something, no matter how small it seems, telling him how proud you are can make him feel loved and appreciated.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be the next Shakespeare to use words of affirmation as your love language. The goal of words of affirmation as love language is to express sincere affection, not show off your skills. You can write the most beautiful poetry or recite a tear-worthy sonnet that might mean nothing to your partner because they know it doesn’t come from a sincere place.
· Physical intimacy as a love language
If you have an obsessive need to give or receive physical intimacy from your partner, physical touch might be your love language. Physical intimacy is one of the most rewarding love languages you can explore in a gay relationship. Physical touch as a love language involves expressing affection through touches to feel connected with someone you love. Some people find pleasure in physical touches, whether sexual or sensual. Physical touch can manifest in several ways, including kissing, light touches, hugging, cuddling, holding hands, sensual caresses, and sex.
Give your partner a kiss when you wake up, caress his abs in passing, run your hands against his back when you are talking, or cuddle him when watching a movie; these simple touches communicate to your partner that you are thinking about him and care about his needs. If physical touch is your love language for expressing love, it’s important to let your partner know and get their explicit consent to touch them whenever you feel like it.
Don’t grope your partner in public unless it’s a fetish and he has specifically asked you to do it. Groping is disrespectful and makes your partner feel controlled rather than loved and cherished, which goes against the objective physical touch as a love language. If your man is hesitant about physical contact, don’t force him to receive love the way you want him to, just to make yourself feel good. Some gay men repress physical touch as a love language because they are scared to express their feelings physically, largely because they want to blend into a heterosexual society. Communicate as a couple to learn how to express your feelings without betraying your natural instinct to give and receive love.
· Spend quality time
Is there a better way to show you adore your partner than spending quality time with them? Undoubtedly! Quality time with your partner is one of the sweetest love languages you can explore in a gay relationship because it shows you genuinely want to be around them. There is something special about your man choosing you when there are so many amazing things and people he could spend his time with, but he chooses to spend it with you. Quality time in a gay relationship means giving each other undivided attention without the distraction of everyday things like social media, music, or TV.
Quality time as a love language involves doing things that enhance your emotional and physical intimacy. If you are an outdoors couple, you can spend quality time on a nature walk, hiking, or camping. You can also spend time doing recreational activities that enhance your communication and interactions, helping you develop intimacy within the relationship. Quality time as a love language teaches couples to treasure the little moments that bring them together. Whether it’s five minutes sharing breakfast, meeting for a quick lunch, or cuddling in bed after a tough day, the little moments you give your partner your undivided attention goes a long way in expressing how much you love him.
· Giving and receiving gifts
A well-thought-out gift is more meaningful than a thousand pretty words that don’t come from your heart. As a gay man, the perfect gift for your partner is not the most expensive nor the most beautiful, but it’s something that shows you understand his needs. You can give him something sentimental, like a keepsake from a holiday, a treasured family recipe, or a meme to make him laugh. Keep in mind gifts are not always tangible. Your time, attention, encouragement, and love are the greatest gifts you can give someone you are in a relationship with.
Whoever coined the phrase “Actions speak louder than words” was probably thinking about acts of service as a love language. Can you really say you love your boyfriend or husband if your words don’t accompany your words? Acts of service as a love language don’t mean you should take your partner to exotic places, buy him an expensive car, or give him your kidney. Acts of service can be simple things, like making breakfast, doing the chores, giving him a massage, preparing his favorite meal, or buying a certain brand of milk because he likes it.
Keep in mind that acts of service in a relationship go beyond gender identities, especially in a gay relationship. Whether your partner assumes a masculine or feminine identity, you can do something sweet and thoughtful to make him cherished. Even if your man is the most buffed-up guy on the planet, buy him flowers, take him out to get his favorite ice cream, or invite his closest friends to watch a game on the weekend. Acts of love as a love language focus on simple things you can do for each other as a couple to show that you care.
Whether in a casual or serious relationship with someone, you can use five main love languages to express your feelings. From acts of love, thoughtful gifts, quality time, and physical touch to words of affirmation, you can find thoughtful ways to express or receive love from your partner.