The kink world can be confusing, especially for someone new to kinky activities. From brats to SAMs (Smart Ass Masochists), there seem to be never-ending kink activities popping up for kinky enthusiasts to explore and enjoy. Contrary to what religious fanatics or sexual purists may have you believe, there is nothing wrong with exploring your kinky side, especially if you want good sex. While some people make do with traditional sexual practices such as missionary sex, and oral or anal sex, some gay men can only gain sexual satisfaction by exploring their kinks and fetishes.
Whether you are a baby gay exploring your sexuality or a seasoned guy looking for ways to spice your sex life, experimenting with kinky sex can be rewarding beyond your wildest imagination. In this article, we will explore brats and SAMs and provide insights into what each category entails.
What is a kink?
Before diving into the intricacies of BRATs and SAMs, you need to have a basic understanding of kinks. The word kink is a broad term referring to various sexual activities that traditional societies consider too unconventional. Kinks fall on a spectrum from vanilla activities such as blindfolds or rope play to extreme kinky practices, including claustrophilia or electrostimulation.
When most people hear the word kink or kinks, they automatically think about dungeons, dangling ropes, chains, gags, whips, blood, or pain play. The truth is kinks are virtually limitless because so many things can be kinks or fetishes. While some gay people have a few kinks in common, most kinks are personal, and what is a kink to one person or culture can seem pretty vanilla to another.
For kinky activities to happen, partners must perfect their communication to ensure both parties derive sexual pleasure from kinky practices. Keep in mind that what gets you off may not align with your partner’s sexual interests or kinks. Communicating with your partner ensures you can obtain continuous consent and meet your sexual needs, allowing you to have a sexually gratifying experience.
Kink: Understanding the ways of BRATs and SAMs
Have you ever heard the words BRAT or SAM in the kink community? If yes, do you identify as a BRAT or a SAM? With so many emerging identities in the queer and kink communities, it can be overwhelming trying to navigate this exciting world to find your place. The kink world can be scary and exciting if it’s your first time exploring kinks. On the one hand, you can finally explore all your darkest sexual fantasies in a safe and non-judgmental environment. On the other, you have no idea where to start. Fortunately, we have prepared a comprehensive guide to help you understand the world of kinks, including BRATs and SAMs.
Here is everything you need to know about BRATs and SAMs:
· What are BRATs?
Who makes a better brat between dominant or submissive partners? It depends on your personality. Brattiness is a sub-identity that anyone can claim regardless of their sexual preferences. A brat in the kinky community can be a submissive that takes on the role of a petulant child to elicit a reaction from their dominant partner. Submissive brats have playful personalities that border on petulance, allowing them to tease and taunt their dom partners in and out of the bedroom.
While submissive brats are famous for their cheeky behavior, their playfulness is not disrespectful to the dom. Brats thrive on pushing boundaries set by their dominant parties, but they are not super rebellious. A submissive brat is an ideal kinky partner for a dom with a serious personality seeking to incorporate playfulness in their relationship. Some doms have a weak spot for submissive parts that are petulant and fight back because they love the thrill that comes from dominating strong personalities.
Remember, you don’t need to be submissive to enjoy brattiness. The kink world is about challenging perceptions, so don’t pigeonhole yourself into one category. If you are a dominant player, you can still take up the role of a brat in a sexual play. If you really want to be the brat in your relationship, don’t suppress that feeling to conform to other people’s expectations. Talk to your partner about what you want and come up with a solution that fulfills all your kinky fantasies.
· What are SAMs?
A Smart Assed Masochist (SAM) is a gay man whose sexual preferences lean towards sadistic treatment and punishment. A SAM is a person that likes to prove their role-play partners to receive punishment. SAMs derive sexual pleasure from sexual plays that result in emotional or physical pain.
As the name suggests, SAMs are masochists, meaning they need fun punishment, popularly known as ‘funishement,’ to enjoy sex play. If you are a SAM, you live to bend the rules set by your dom because kinky punishments, including spanking, gagging, whips, humiliation, or any type of consented abuse, get you in the mood to have freaky sex.
· BRATs and SAMs: what’s the difference?
If you are familiar with kinky lingo, then you have probably heard phrases like SAMs and BRATs. The kinky community has dozens of subgroups, including brats and SAMs, that cater to individuals with particular fetishes and kinks. While the terms brats and SAMs are often interchanged in the kinky community, they have minor differences that make each category unique and worth exploring. So, what is the difference between a brat and SAM?
One of the biggest differences between brats and SAMs is motivation. Brats are playful, cheeky, and taunting to attract the dom’s attention to get what they want. A brat takes on the role of a petulant child to get what they want from their dominant partners. In comparison, a SAM breaks the rules with the goal of provoking their partner to dish out a painful punishment. For example, a brat will act needy to signal to the dom they want some bedroom action, hence receiving what they want. A SAM will do something a dom has explicitly forbidden to receive sex.
Another difference is that Brats have limits, while SAMs need to be forcefully dominated. As a brat, you can push and nag your dom, but you know your limits, so it’s almost impossible to disrespect your dom. On the other hand, SAMs thrive in breaking limits because they need the sadistic treatment that comes from breaking the rules. A SAM is a masochist, meaning he disobeys the rules in anticipation of the emotional or physical pain to follow.
· BRATs and SAMs rules to follow
The kink community thrives on rules. As a beginner in the kink community, it’s important to understand the rules that guide kink practices for your safety and that of your partner. Rules, whether written or unwritten, ensure that anyone interested in kink can have a safe and conducive environment to explore their sexual fantasies.
One of the most important rules in the kink world is to get continuous consent from your sexual partner. You or your partner have a right to withhold consent when you feel uncomfortable with a scene. Don’t assume just because someone gave you the green light to try something means they have to endure the activity until you are satisfied. The goal of kinky sex is to fulfill people’s sexual fantasies, not prey on their vulnerability to get what they want. Disregarding someone’s choices in the kink world is akin to sexual assault with legal and moral consequences.
Another important rule for kink enthusiasts is safety. While some kinks are pretty vanilla and risk-free, some can be dangerous and fatal. If you are new to kinks, avoid extreme practices until you master safety precautions to avoid accidents. Don’t
be in a rush to try extreme BDSM activities to prove a point. Ideally, start with simple kinks and work up to the more risky activities as you gain more experience.
Maintaining hygiene is also an important tradition among kinksters. Whether you are engaging in kinky sex at your home, car, or a sex party, maintaining hygiene can significantly improve the kinky experience. It’s easier to give or receive sexual ministration in a clean scene because your body and mind are at ease with the environment.
· How can you tell whether you are a BRAT or SAM?
How do you know if you are a BRAT or a SAM? Whether you are looking for something to help you spice your sex life, escape from reality, or enrich your sexual experience, exploring kinks can be intimidating, especially if you don’t know which subgroups to identify with. While some gay men are pretty confident about where their kinky preferences lean, others take time to recognize their kinks.
The great thing is that no one is pushing you to declare your kink. Being a BRAT or a SAM is not a competition, and there is no time limit on how long it should take to know your preferences. The best way to know what turns you on is to experiment with different kinks and listen to your body to know what you like.
The kink community has dozens of subcategories, including BRATs and SAMs, that cater to people with varying sexual preferences. Whether you like to dominate cheeky subs, rule-breaking masochists, or prefer to be the submissive partner, the kink world has a wide of kinks and fetishes you can explore.